Humor/Jokes

(Note: Just a compilation of my all time favourite straightforward jokes, updated every week)

by Earlie

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BEAUTY LIES IN THE HAND OF THE BEERHOLDER…

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GMA to ERAP

“Erap if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.”

ERAP to GMA

“Madam Gloria, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading!!

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Messing up yet another shot, the golfer whimpered, “There can’t

be worse players than me.” .” There are,” his wife assured him, “but

they are not playing anymore.”

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Bro Ben and  Bro Mike are two monks who belonged to a silent order spent a day fishing together in a peaceful place in Pangasinan.  Nothing was caught until the very end of the day, when Bro Ben caught a mermaid.  He looked at the beautiful naked creature, fondled her interestingly and then threw her back in. Unable to keep his silence, Bro Mike shouted at him, “WHY?” Bro Ben replied, ” BUT HOW?”

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A lawyer and a Pope die on the same day and arrive in heaven together.  St Peter takes the Pope to his room which is quite small and ordinary, poorly furnished and only has a skylight.  He then takes the lawyer to his room, which is a 7-star in comfort and outside is his own swimming pool set in landscaped gardens.  “OH GRACIOUS MAY,I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”, he gasps. “WHY HAVE I GOT THIS WHEN THE POPE HAS SO LITTLE?”  “It’s like this; we have many popes up here and it gets a little boring, but we’ve never had a lawyer before.”

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